Harry Potter and the Shadows of the Past
by TinGirl314
Summary: The war against Voldemort is over. Harry learns quickly after Fred, Tonk's, and Remus' funeral that there is a price to be paid for everything, even heroism. Harry's mind has been torn in half and Ron isn't making things easier. Slash. I do not own HP.
1. Chapter 1

**A note from me:**_ Hello, this is my first fic on this site. I'm sure I made some mistakes so helpful crit is always appreciated. No need to be mean though. This is just my take on the happenings post war, beginning with the funeral. Might update and add more to the funeral itself later. This will eventually be RonXHarry slash, so I've given the warning there. I'm going to try to update every couple days, at least every week. Reviews are loved but not mandatory, as I'm writing this story for myself. If all goes well I'm also writing a more lighthearted fic between Harry and Ginny, so maybe I'll even post that. So enjoy, and let me know if I messed something up. Look forward to hearing from people. :)_

Harry Potter and The Shadows of the Past

Harry Potter had been woken by a rather frightening dream. He shot up in the bed he'd been provided by Mrs. Weasley and looked around in near hysterics. The nightmares had been horrible, even though it was a week past the final battle with Voldemort, he couldn't shake the recent war from his mind. Perhaps it had to do with Fred's upcoming funeral. The Weasley's had done an amazing job of keeping their chins up, all of course other then George, but as the funeral approached the facades faded. Harry of course plagued with guilt...if he could have just done voldemort in one day later...if he had just known twenty-four hours sooner...even twelve, Fred might still be with us. Now...now it was worse, now...he might be back.

He made his way downstairs in silence, dressed in a pair of fine black dress robes. Ron was already downstairs in matching robes, which Harry insisted Ron let him buy. As a matter of fact all of the Weasley's and even Hermione were sporting brand new, pressed dressrobes. Harry insisted, as if that wasn't bad enough Reamus' and Tonk's processions were to take place shortly after. All of the casualties of this war deserved the most respect that could be provided. It was depressing...the war was over, the darkness was (supposedly) gone, yet the facial expressions that crossed his friend's faces was more grim then he'd ever seen, even during the war.

"Hey mate." solemnly to his best friend

"Hey.." was all Ron could muster

He'd gone oddly silent the past week, didn't feel like talking, or anything. Harry couldn't help but feel hopeless...he could destroy a dark lord, but he couldn't manage to make Ronald crack even a grin. He took a lean down and wrapped his arms around Ron tight. He didn't care how 'puff' they looked, he had seen the shudder in his shoulders. A glance over as he hugged Ron and he saw Mister Weasley giving the same hug to Misses Weasley. An odd feeling fell over him right then. Something he couldn't explain. He brushed it off though as George walked into the room. His eyes were weighted to the ground, Bill was fixing George's robe in silence and then patted him on the back, followed closely by Charlie holding his sobbing younger sister as they made their way downstairs. That seemed to get the whole room going.

Outside they made their way to the portkey that would take them to the burial. They'd requested to share ceremony space and time with their lost friends Reamus and Tonks, out of sight in a place that would not produce any kind of distraction. Not even the rough tug behind the naval had changed the expressions on all of their faces, Ginny had just let herself fall into the landing, landing on her knees. Mister Weasley broke from his wife's side to life Ginny to her feet. The area was stunning, it was sad that they had all gathered to such a beautiful place in such a sad time. The words, the procession, everything flew by until he was unexpectedly asked to say a few words. He was told the family would be speaking...Harry didn't think he was family, yet he was first. He stood up and walked to the marble podium in front of the majestic waterfall flowing behind him in the woods. He looked to everyone in the crowed...he could feel them begging him to say something that would make it a little easier...

"Hullo..." and he sighed "I didn't know that I would be speaking..." admitting honestly..."I don't know weather I'm just supposed to say a few things about Fred, or if I am supposed to say things about Tonks and Lupin as well. I've decided to talk about both of them." Admitted awkwardly..."Fred was like a brother to me, all of the Weasley's are. Some people might've said that Fred wasn't serious enough, that he was always more worried about making people laugh and be happy, then he was impressing the world with his grades or money. Neither fame or money can make us smile today, and I think it made me understand him a lot better."

At this he saw Mrs. Weasley break into tears, The other's weren't as hysteric, but there was definitely not a dry eye in the massive group.

"I-I've learned..." Trying to keep his voice strong "...from Fred, I've learned a lot. What you have, what you go through, and even what we feel are missing, are nothing compared to the simple gift of being happy, and the feeling we get when making our friends, and family happy. To my family, the Weasley's...I can't...tell you how sorry I am. "

This of course caused a shock of surprise throughout the group. Harry looked as if he felt the guilt of murder. Molly and Arthur gave each other concerned glances, while Ron and Hermione shot worried looks to each other before focusing on Harry.

"I would give..anything to bring him back." Harry's white knuckled grip on the podium was only getting tighter now and Molly had the mother instinct to stand, but Arthur pulled her back.

"Wait..." Arthur whispered..."He needs this..."

"Remus and Tonks too...Dumbledor...I know they all died because of me."

The room filled with silence...it seemed at the very least Harry was facing an inner battle in front of everything. He couldn't talk...he could barely breathe and his eyes focused on Ron. The whole time the war had gone on, Harry was paralysed with the fear of loosing his best friend. Now the dreams were back...the nightmares, if it happened again...if they missed a Horocrux...Ron's gaze met Harry's and in an instant Harry gave a cry of pain and grabbed his head with both hands. He couldn't stop himself though...

"Sirius and Reamus...and Tonks with their...child..."

After that moment, Harry could hear nothing other then Hermione's scream, and feel Ron grab hold of him as his legs gave out from under him. Everything was a blur, from people crowding around him, Ron shaking him by the shoulders. His green eyes looked up at Ron's worried expression, and then Hermione's. It was like they were speaking another language. Then there was darkness, there was only ever darkness in the end. Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Fred, his parents, and Dumbledore. The lights in his life were burning quick, and it was terrifying. It was that fear that he fell into unconsciousness with.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A Note:** Yes, there was a bit of confusion, I had stated this would be a oneshot, but thanks to my lovely reviewer I am in fact going to keep this going. Chapter two is pretty heavy, the story blossoms quite quickly. Also if anyone would like to be a beta reader, please contact me. Apparently spell check has it out for me! Thank you Resonance and D for your review. Apologies for the long span of time between updates...my interweb died. It was a sad month. Enjoy!_

* * *

"Mate, wake up, Harry!"

The next thing Harry knew, Ron's hands were on his shoulders shaking him furiously. His eyes shot open, staring up at his best friend. His breathing was so heavy he felt like he'd just run a mile. Hands shakily reached for his glasses as he put them back on, only to see a very concerned looking Ron sitting at the foot of his bed.

"Ron? What...I..."

"Shh...it was a dream." was all Ron could bring himself to say.

Harry nodded and pushed himself up in the bed. The nightmare flew through his mind so fast that he felt like he was being pressed against the mattress. Real life flooded through him as the memory of the funeral pieced itself together, confirming for him that the war was over. The present, however; seemed just as bleak.

"Ron, what happened...all I remember is talking and then being drug into darkness..."

Ron was not at ease...he let his fingers fiddle with each other nervously, until one hand came up and rubbed at his own neck.

"Mate...you've been asleep for a month."

Harry sat in shock...he looked at Ron, trying to see if he would break a grin like he had in their previous years and tell him he was just joking. The look on Ron's face proved otherwise.

"They wanted to take you to St. Mungo's, but my mother refused to let them. She is legally your guardian until your birthday next year..."

That was something that Harry was very grateful for. After all, it was nice to know someone was able to fight for him against the ministry. If it had been up to them he'd probably be bouncing off padded walls in the asylum. A glance up brought his eyes to Ron...the darkness was kind to him. He didn't look worn and thin, the circles under his eyes didn't stand out from the other shadows in the room...but not even the dark could make the slight tremble in his hands and shoulders. Before he had time to react he jumped as Ginny's excited voice rang out through the hallway.

"Mom, Dad he's awake! Hermione! Harry's up!"

The Weasley house shook as if a stampede was ripping through it, everyone rushed to Harry's bedside, Ginny and Hermione wrapped they're arms around him on either side. The room was so loud...Harry couldn't make a word out of all the blabbering...but Ron was silent. Harry assumed he might just be worried, since he was sure he was screaming and thrashing only moments before he woke up.

"Harry dear, did Ron tell you how long you've been asleep? We've been so worried..."

"Harry I missed you so much I didn't know what to do..."

"I knew he'd pull through, he always does."

All the voices hitting him at once made him dizzy, and something inside himself made him slide back into bed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the group around him must have gotten the hint, because they got quiet rather quickly.

"S-sorry...a little light-headed is all..." was all he could manage with a half hearted smile

Mrs. Weasley started rushing everyone out telling them that Harry needed his rest. Mister Weasley nodded at Harry and gave a grin, which always made Harry feel like Mister Weasley was proud of him. Ron stayed put and Mrs. Weasley glanced over to her son with a worried expression before giving a sort of sad smile and walked out of the room.

"Ron...what's wrong?"

Ron looked up like a deer caught in headlights. Harry thought he saw a glimmer of a tear slide down his cheek it alerted him...Ron could show fear, or happiness...worry, but sadness? He didn't think he ever remembered Ron actually crying...after all crying out about giant spiders was different then what he saw right now...Of course, looking over Ron like this in the dark...he didn't know how he missed it before. Ron was a completely different person then he was a month ago. He had a solemn look on his face...his thin appearance coupled with shoulder length red hair made him look more like Mrs. Weasley then mister Weasley.

"Mate...I gotta tell you something..."

"Okay..."

"When you fought Voldemort, and sacrificed yourself as a horocrux...he tore your mind Harry." Ron's eyes fell to the floor as if they had weights attached to his very pupils.

"You take medication everyday now that ...temporarily mends your mind. I think that's why you've been having these attacks and constant nightmares... I've been given a responsibility to taking care of you. I don't mind at all of course, I'm glad they chose me! I saw what you were going through Harry...you relived the last month of the war. That's why you couldn't wake up until you died in the dream." he paused "When the damage was done..."

Harry listened, but it wasn't all that hard to believe. Dying and coming back was an amazing feat on it's own...he didn't think it would happen without him paying a price...The way Ron was saying it though made it sound like a cancer.

"Mum says she's sure they will be able to repair the damage in time..." Softly

"Wait...in time? What will happen if they don't?"

"Harry...You're going to black out...a lot. You're going to relive a lot of things...and you have the power in these illusions to change things that have happened. Most wizards...go mad."

"Oh Ron, if I've survived all of this before then I'm sure a little problem like this won't be anything to handle. It's just another advent-" but Ron interrupted him...

"I love you Harry..." Spoken softly. "I want you to know incase you don't come back."

Harry offered a crooked smile and nodded "I love you too mate..."

"No Harry...I love you. I mean it..." It seemed as if Ron was having his own inner battles.

Mrs. And Mr. Weasley were standing at the door in silence. They were charmed to make no noise and with the darkness in the room they would be nearly impossible to catch. Mrs. Weasley held her breath for her youngest son and buried her face into Arthur's chest. Mr. Weasley put a hand on the back of his wife's head, gently petting her for comfort- though his breath also seemed hitched in his throat. Harry though...looked like a truck just hit him.

"You mean...you're...I mean..."

"Gay." Ron added in there for him.

Harry nodded in silence, his green eyes looking over to his best friend. How had he gone from liking Hermione to him? It didn't bother Harry that Ron was gay of course...but was he? It was a lot of information to take in right after being unconscious for over a month.

"R-Ron...I...I know it must have been hard to tell me. I'm...not sure where I stand I mean...I still love you, you're my best mate. I just don't know about me..."

Mrs. Weasley let a few tears drop as her and Mr. Weasley moved down the stairs.

"You can't expect Harry to jump into something like this..." Arthur said softly.

"No one loves him like Ron...Ron went through so much when he thought Harry was going to die..."

Upstairs Ron nodded, it actually felt good knowing that Harry wasn't just going to say he was gross and turn him away. Ron nodded and rubbed his arm a bit before standing up.

"You should probably get some rest...the whole wizarding world is going to be here tomorrow..."

"Ron...? Could you stay, just for a bit?"

This surprised him and he nodded, sitting back down on the edge of the bed.

"You said you had a responsibility to me...what do you mean?"

"We're linked mentally Harry. I can feel if your mending starts to slip. I'm trying to keep you from having another attack by acting like a human alarm."

"So you can tell what I'm feeling?" Whispered...

"No, I'm only set to feel that one thing...now get some sleep, it's almost morning."


End file.
